The Ultimate Payback
by Klep-o
Summary: Snape and Lucius are tired of James and Sirius laughing at them.They decide to make the "Ultimate Payback". Will it work or will Sirius and James have even more to laugh at them for?


Authors note: I have written Les Miserables fics, and I only think it fair to do a Harry Potter fic now

Authors note: I have written Les Miserables fics, and I only think it fair to do a Harry Potter fic now. I do not own Harry Potter or the characters from the book. (Big surprise here.) Also, I always thought Snape and Lucius make cool friends. So surprise, they're friends with each other. I don't like preps, sue me.

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The hallway was crowded with people from every house, all trying to get to their classes. Lucius and Severus were knocking into each other as people shoved them out of their path.

"There's got to be a better way. I feel like a sandwich." Lucius groaned as a particularly stupid prep smacked him into Snape. They both gagged as the artificial smell of apples reached their noses, Snape's especially. Since his nose is so big :) 

"There has _got _to be a better way." Lucius repeated now that the foul stench was gone.

"Looks like someone already figured a way." Snape sneered as Sirius Black shouted 'mosh pit' while people threw him into classroom 57.

"Show-off." Said Lucius and Snape at the same time.

By the time they had reached classroom 57, they were late (as usual). Professor McGonagall was not pleased. Her lips grew thinner and her eyes narrowed as they creeped into the room trying to make as less noise as necessary.

"Mr. Snape and Mr. Malfoy, what is the excuse today?" She asked. The class snickered, especially James Potter and his friends. 

"We decided not to join the mosh pit, in fear of people thinking that we were either too stupid to find our classroom or to lazy to walk three feet." Snape said. Once again the class laughed, they had been in the hallway recently. Sirius gave them both a sarcastic smile. 

"Mooch pit or no-"

"Mosh pit Professor." Corrected Lucius.

"As I was saying, you are responsible to get here _on time._ Is that understood gentlemen? Good, now get out your desks. Everyone take out your wands, we will be starting lesson three."

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"Did you hear what that slimy git said? He's just jealous that no one wants to touch him, much less be in a mosh pit with him." Said Sirius to James.

"Calm down Padfoot, McGonagall didn't believe him anyway. Besides, who cares what Snape has to say about anything?" said Remus Transfiguring a needle to a feather.

"DAAAAHHHHHH! WHY! WON'T! YOU! CHAAANNGGGEEEE!?!?!??! AAAHHHHHHH!!!" Snape screamed between whacking his needle with his wand. It flew violently upward on his desk and came down on Professor McGonagall's hand.

"MR. SNAPE, THAT IS THE LAST TIME YOU INTERUPT IN MY CLASSROOM! KINDLY TAKE YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE! YOU CAN COME BACK WHEN YOU START ACTING LIKE A CIVILIZED HUMAN BEING!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

Most of the class was silent but James and Sirius couldn't hold back their laughter. Severus shot them a look of venom while they had to hide their smiling faces with their hands. 

" I apologize class." McGonagall said while shutting the door behind Snape.

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"And they had the nerve to _laugh_ Lucius. I'll get them back." Snape said at the table. He had not eaten any of his lunch. 

"How? I've run out of ideas." Said Lucius grabbing Snape's untouched sandwich. 

That was a really good question. Snape had run out of ideas too. It would have to be a good one. The ultimate payback. 

A noise interrupted Snape's thoughts. The Gryffindor's were wolf-whistling loudly. Snape had forgot the new Gryffindor's teacher's aid. Nice and cute, but as dumb as a post and clearly not interested in love, especially from a bunch of immature teenagers. 

"THAT'S IT!" Snape shouted a little too loudly then he meant to. Lucius gave him a puzzled look. 

"I'm sorry. I'm not stupid but I can't see where you're coming from."

"The Gryffindor's teaching aid. I know how to make a potion-"

"You don't mean…?"

"Black and Potter will have the thrill of their lives."

"Oh yeah, we're good." 

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A couple of well-planned months later, and the required hair from the teachers' aid, Snape was all set for the 'ultimate payback'. 

"Come on, you need to wear the dress. No one is going to know." Lucius said. Snape grabbed the red dress and reluctantly wore it. It took some time, it was a cramped bathroom stall and he had never put on a dress before.

"Ok, I'm ready. I need the potion." 

Carefully Lucius handed it to him. After a while, Snape walked out as the cute, nice, seductive Gryffindor teacher's aid. 

"Wow."

"I know, I took a peek before I put on the dress." 

Both Slytherin boys laughed mischievously in the bathroom for ten minutes. 

"Ok, we wasted enough time. I'm going to find Black and Potter, you watch out for the teachers aid."

"Already been taken care of. I told her that she dropped her lipstick in the quittich field. She'll be out of our way." Lucius said smiling.

"Alright then, lets do it." Snape said in a voice that wasn't his. 

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Sirius and James walked through the hallway to get to their common room. School was over for the day and they were going to chill out with Remus when they got there. Snape (aka Gryffindor teachers aid *wink wink*) reached them first.

"Oh, Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, I am in desperate need of your assistance." Snape squealed.

Black and Potter smiled at each other.

"We'll help you, anything we can do for you?" Black said sucking up. 

"Oh yes, I just cant figure out how to Transfigure something. Professor McGonagall told me so much about both of you and your skills. Its so nice to have smart, handsome students like you." Snape said pouting. 

Potter, the noble one, blushed and said it was nothing. Black smiled his rouge smile and winked at Snape. Inwardly Snape gagged.

"If you could stop by my office…before dinner…?"

Snape noticed both of their ears turning red. He smiled.

"Of course I would reward you. With a kiss maybe? I'll be waiting." Snape said and winked. 

Both boys nodded dumbly.

Snape rushed into the other direction just before the potion wore off. He had to tell Lucius.

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Snape and Lucius watched for Black and Potter to enter the main hall. Both had said nothing, and both were staring at the entrance. Suddenly something caught both their eyes and both roared out in laughter.

Black and Potter, both looking very confused, rubbed their cheeks where a red handprint was developing. Yes, it was the ultimate payback.

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Authors Note: This was a really easy fic to write. I was surprised. It only took me what? A half hour? I wont beg you to review but hey, who's stopping you?


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